This is not the post you’re looking for…

912806_10151836083158508_909584515_nThis wasn’t the post I was going to write.

THAT post should have looked something like this:

TRIUMPH! Finished the Monument 10k in *personal* record time. Ran the whole thing. Excited to hear about the “Have a Monumental Day” birthday poster that was displayed on the route  (BTW whoever that was please contact me!!!)

INSTEAD…

Boston happened and I didn’t think it was appropriate that I post a bunch of stuff about the 10k etc…

then time passed.  I hurt.  I hurt because i pushed too hard at the race and my knees and legs hurt.  Then it rained and rained. Then I hurt myself again running, this time I cramped and had a bit of breakdown because I felt like I was letting myself down and couldn’t run.  That was a bad night too much crying and bent over in pain.  So I didn’t run.  The weather has gotten better my legs are better, but I haven’t gotten back out there.  Life has crept up on me and so has some weight.

Depressingly about 12 pounds worth.

So I didn’t want to write about my failure.  I felt like I fail at this blog, the race, the weight loss… and I didn’t want to post about that. I was tired and crazy busy with family and my sisters wedding coming up.  I had plenty of excuses.  I hate excuses.

But.. I hadn’t gone up a pant size, I’m still in great shape, the weather is nice, I did finish the race, I didn’t binge but I’m eating too much chips and dips, and the blog is about the triumphs and failures, about putting myself out there to fail and learn from it.

So that is what I’m trying to do now.  I’m going to do ANOTHER big fast.  Either 30 or 60 days.  I want to do 60 and think of it as a finish line fast one that takes me FINALLY to my final goal.  June and July have a lot of cook outs to get through, and I don’t know if I’m up for it. I’ll keep posting the day by days, I still have to finish out a months worth. See you all soon.

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3 thoughts on “This is not the post you’re looking for…

  1. I’m glad you posted about this! It’ll help me and others realize that it’s a working progress. So many people only post the positive and it makes us mortals feel like if we fail then we’ve done it wrong. I’m glad the juice fast isn’t a cure from being a human and being tempted by things that are less good for you. It just means that you’re human and it’s a working progress. What can you learn if you do everything right? Keep up the work and take care of yourself! And thanks for being true to your followers!

  2. It’s always about exploring deeper within…run toward your heart…it holds all the answers. I’ve spent years teaching people how to overwrite negative habitual thinking, i.e., pass/fail…good/bad, black/white…now with juicing, I’ve turned my program on myself. I challenge my programmed thoughts about what it means to succeed or fail and where do such thoughts come from and are they defiinitions that I want to embrace. It’s really about making adjustments…shifting…seeing what fits for the individual. You’ve done incredible work…keep moving, Chris.
    And remember, “There’s no arrival…just an occasional P.A.U.S.E.” ~ Julie L. Johnson ~ Day 55 of my new lifestyle! http://www.jjssqueezeplay@aol.com

  3. This post made me cry. I’m going through that feeling of failure now. The good thing is I cried because I felt relief that I’m not alone. Thanks for the honesty it means more than you know.

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